Recently in Yikes Category

PLAY: Bobba Bebba
time: 1:43; specs: 1.6 MB mp3

script by: Cecil Vortex; voices: Hans van Boetzelaerlaan and CV

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Today's episode marks a return to our bread and butter: short pieces about empathetic aliens watching alternate-reality Earth-TV as they orbit dying suns. And may God have mercy on our souls.

Enjoy! -CV

PLAY: Lucky Liver Lumps Minute Murder Mysteries: The Sounds of Violence
snippet: "...a mystery show's program director had been done in..."
time: 3:04; specs: 2.8 MB mp3

written and produced by: Tony Jonick; starring: Robin Brady, Jerry Williams!, Shannon O'Hare, Alanna Dill, Tony Jonick, and Cecil Vortex

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Some say "The Sounds of Violence" was Wycliffe Saint Hampstead-Liftgate's masterpiece. Clearly, it was his most experimental piece -- a three-minute one-minute mystery produced literally decades before that became the norm.

This time out, the action turns in on itself as Inspector Jowls is summoned to the BBC to investigate the recent murder of an audio program director. This is rough stuff -- replete with the kind of anti-sound-effect-engineer bias so common back in the '30s. Still, if you listen closely you can literally hear the envelope being pushed back and to the left.

While you're in this neck of the woods, don't forget to catch last week's episode of LLL, and the one afore that, posted two weeks back. Or better yet, ifn ya got the bandwidth, kick back and download all three in one handy, albeit fairly huge combo-file.

Enjoy! And watch the skies, CV.

PLAY: Not Cool
snippet: "Hey Look! Over there! It's those two chipmunks -- from the cartoons!"
time: 1:58; specs: (just barely!) 1.8 MB mp3

script and music: Cecil Vortex; cast: Christian Crumlish, Eileen Dahl, Bee Nisbet, M. Smith

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Tom and Kate have the whole day off. "Let's go to the amusement park!" says Kate. "Great idea!" says Tom. They just love roller coasters.

Uh oh! Somebody forgot to bring an extra pair of clothes. That wasn't very smart.

Come join our heroes on the fairground of life as they learn that some times, a day at the park, isn't really a day at the park. Metaphorically speaking. (Please note: Not Cool is rated "Yikes." You must be this tall to take this ride.)

Enjoy! -CV

PLAY: Abu Ghraib: The Untold Story
snippet: "There. This feels so liberating."
time: 3:04; specs: 2.8 MB mp3

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Scoop! Who can turn the world on with her smile? Brace yourself, loyal listener, for the shocking answer lies just ahead.

At great personal risk, MVRT has recently obtained the tape the Liberal Media doesn't want you to hear -- the tape that proves once and for all that conditions inside the notorious Abu Ghraib "prison" weren't exactly the "nightmare" Cronkite and his cronies would have you "believe." And we have the proof!

Herewith, the shocking story behind the photos -- a tale told by goof-offs, steeped in hi-jinks, packed with end-to-end madcap mayhem, and all recorded in front of a live studio audience.

Warning: Not really all that surprisingly, this segment is rated “Yikes.” And I think I speak for everyone when I say how very disappointed we are to find you still here, still reading this opening text, pondering whether or not to go ahead and play the file. Shame on you. Shame! (Note: This Creep-edy™ feature is rated "Yikes.")