http://monkeyvortex.com/ "...and at once all renown, all intelligence, all the attainments of the spirit, all progress toward the sublime, the great and the enduring in man fell away and became a monkey's trick!" - Hermann Hesse en-us cecil@cecilvortex.com 2006-03-12T19:39:00-08:00 hourly 1 2000-01-01T12:00+00:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2006/03/warm_honey.html PLAY: Warm Honey snippet: "...that's when things got complicated." time: 2:20; specs: 2.15 MB mp3 words and sounds by: Cecil Vortex ********************* They ask us to think of tomorrow. To take precautions. To invest our time. And we trust them because they have credentials. But what if tomorrow the task becomes the reward? What if that warm honeyed pain/pleasure grows legs and walks out the door? Will you follow? Will we all follow? -CV 8490@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Creep-edy™ 2006-03-12T19:39:00-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2006/02/i_baby_robot.html PLAY: I, Baby Robot snippet: "Red 7, is the Baby Robot in place?" time: 3:04; specs: 2.8 MB mp3 written by: Cecil Vortex; starring: Jeff Green, Heather Gottschalk, Christian Crumlish, EB, Hans van Boetzelaerlaan, M. Smith, and Cecil Vortex ********************* Who knows what lurks in the hearts of men? Baby Robot knows. And now Pete, Reggie, and the whole gang are about to find out. What Baby Robot knows. About what lurks. 8368@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Creep-edy™ 2006-02-20T00:51:51-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2006/02/the_phone_call_part_i.html 8331@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Pinot Noir 2006-02-13T08:37:13-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2005/05/quiet_and_comfo.html PLAY: Quiet and Comfortable snippet: "...David was different. He was unusual. And when no one else was around, he'd sit very still...and prove it." time: 1:25; specs: 1.3 MB mp3 words and music by: Cecil Vortex; starring: Robert Birnbach ********************* (Very) loosely following in the tradition of Clowney, here's a short short story about a hep cat mathlete with unusual hobbies. And shoes. He also has shoes! Enjoy, and regardez the skies, -CV 6914@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Vignettes 2005-05-12T07:09:05-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2005/04/holding_on.html PLAY: Holding On snippet: "I cursed her too as she kissed away my frown." time: 2:14; specs: 2 MB mp3 written and produced by: Tony Jonick ********************* This is something unusual. Something you may have never encountered before. Disco poetry. And I think yes. The world needs more. Beautifully honest, carefully crafted, heartfelt disco poetry. I've been a big fan of this particular poem for a while now and asked local poet and MVRT stalwart Tony Jonick to record it for us. What he did with it in his studio was entirely unexpected. And that's a great thing. Enjoy. And watch the skies, -CV 6818@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Poet Makes a House Call 2005-04-17T23:44:35-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2005/02/poem_with_its_s.html PLAY: Poem with Its Second Line by Nada Gordon snippet: "...here is an opportunity to rest your head among the green blaze of mountains..." time: 1:15; specs: 1.1 MB mp3 words by: Rodney K.; music by: Yaniv Soha ********************* After an extended, hard drive-induced hiatus, MVRT is back with our most rockin'-est transcontinental Poet Makes a House Call yet. Some say Soha and Koeneke are like the Scylla and Charybdis of our time. Me, I’m not even sure what that means. But I do know this: my four-year-old asked me to play this week's number some twenty-odd times in a row. And you just can't beat a review like that. Enjoy. And now more than ever: watch the dang skies, -CV 6555@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Poet Makes a House Call 2005-02-21T18:48:34-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2005/01/letters.html PLAY: Letters time: 1:17; specs: 1.2 MB mp3 snippet: "From director Ridley Scott, and his albino brother Tony..." script by: Cecil Vortex; voices: Eileen Dahl, Bleu Smith, K. Smith, and CV ********************* Some say pop culture is swiftly moving beyond parody. We say: those folks clearly haven't seen the ads for CBS' "Numbers." Enjoy. And watch the skies, -CV 6408@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Comedy, Jokes 2005-01-24T02:13:49-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2005/01/bobba_bebba.html PLAY: Bobba Bebba time: 1:43; specs: 1.6 MB mp3 script by: Cecil Vortex; voices: Hans van Boetzelaerlaan and CV ********************* Today's episode marks a return to our bread and butter: short pieces about empathetic aliens watching alternate-reality Earth-TV as they orbit dying suns. And may God have mercy on our souls. Enjoy! -CV 6376@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Vignettes 2005-01-17T03:01:05-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/12/the_good_friend.html PLAY: The Good Friend snippet: "...I know, I know, what could be so bad, right? Well listen up: it's all about the wine tasting." time: 2:58; specs: 2.7 MB mp3 script by: eb; voice and keys by: Cecil Vortex ********************* From the folks what brought you Clowney comes the story of Mike, a guy with a problem. Sure, he likes a glass of wine now and again. And yeah, ok: maybe he's become a tad fancified of late. But really, that's the least of it. See, the late-night crickets are out in force, chirping along beneath bass and keys. And there's Mike's pal, down by the fence. He's a bit concerned, and he's feeling awful chatty. What's his name? Oh, I don't know. How 'bout we just call him: The Good Friend. Enjoy. And watch the skies, -CV 6273@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Vignettes 2004-12-21T00:15:58-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/12/eerie_wampum.html PLAY: Eerie Wampum snippet: "...like Casper the Friendly Ghost, teamed up to solve the mystery of Camp Wampum with Richie Rich, the sad little rich boy..." time: 1:42; specs: 1.6 MB mp3 words by: Rodney K.; music by: Yaniv Soha ********************* Regulars visitors to this site are already well versed in the the work of Rodney K. Suffice it to say, if Monkey Vortex had a Poet Laureate, Rodney K. would be the poet our Poet Laureate would plagiarize. He's that good. This week, Rodney teams up transcontinentally with Yaniv Soha. (Incidentally, Yaniv is frequently and incorrectly credited as the inventor of the light bulb. In fact, the inventor of the light bulb was Thomas Alva Edison.) Eerie Wampum is a powerful, evocative poem, set to swank, swinging guitar. In short, it's just the sort of headphone-friendly sonic brain transfusion today's hep cats demand. But wait! As an extra special bonus this week, for you and just for you: a remix of a Rodney K. poem we originally posted last October. Inspired by Yaniv's Egyptian Reggae, it's the same great poem, now refortified with a tad more funkngroove. Et voila: Welcome to the City of Wetumpka, the Funknfortified Edition. Enjoy, and watch the skies, -CV 6161@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Poet Makes a House Call 2004-12-15T00:46:59-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/11/lucky_liver_lum_2.html PLAY: Lucky Liver Lumps Minute Murder Mysteries: The Sounds of Violence snippet: "...a mystery show's program director had been done in..." time: 3:04; specs: 2.8 MB mp3 written and produced by: Tony Jonick; starring: Robin Brady, Jerry Williams!, Shannon O'Hare, Alanna Dill, Tony Jonick, and Cecil Vortex ********************* Some say "The Sounds of Violence" was Wycliffe Saint Hampstead-Liftgate's masterpiece. Clearly, it was his most experimental piece -- a three-minute one-minute mystery produced literally decades before that became the norm. This time out, the action turns in on itself as Inspector Jowls is summoned to the BBC to investigate the recent murder of an audio program director. This is rough stuff -- replete with the kind of anti-sound-effect-engineer bias so common back in the '30s. Still, if you listen closely you can literally hear the envelope being pushed back and to the left. While you're in this neck of the woods, don't forget to catch last week's episode of LLL, and the one afore that, posted two weeks back. Or better yet, ifn ya got the bandwidth, kick back and download all three in one handy, albeit fairly huge combo-file. Enjoy! And watch the skies, CV. 6083@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Engaging Theatricals 2004-11-28T17:54:56-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/11/lucky_liver_lum_1.html   PLAY: Lucky Liver Lumps Minute Murder Mysteries: Dead as a Dormouse snippet: "I found Dinah lapping at the tea in the hat!" time: 2:39; specs: 2.4 MB mp3   written and produced by: Tony Jonick; starring: Robin Brady, Jerry Williams!, Shannon O'Hare, Emily Jonick, Samantha Jonick, Alanna Dill, Tony Jonick, and Cecil Vortex   ********************* The Dormouse is dead. Alice, distraught. But have no fear -- Inspector Jowls is on the case. That's right, it's another two-minute "one-minute murder mystery," from the groovy gourd of the late great Wycliffe Saint Hampstead-Liftgate. If you only listen to one recently rescued 1930s radio show, we say: "let...this...be...the one...that you listen to!" And if you listen to more than one, well then don't forget to play last week's episode too. Enjoy! -CV   6069@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Engaging Theatricals 2004-11-23T15:11:10-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/11/lucky_liver_lum.html PLAY: Lucky Liver Lumps Minute Murder Mysteries: Caught in the Trap snippet: "Henrietta entered before me and was treated to a rum sight." time: 2:18; specs: 2.1 MB mp3 written and produced by: Tony Jonick; starring: Robin Brady, Jerry Williams!, Tony Jonick, and Cecil Vortex ********************* MVRT recently lucked into possession of a set of groundbreaking British radio programmes originally recorded back in the 1930s. Written by Wycliffe Saint Hampstead-Liftgate and starring his soon-to-be-legendary "Inspector Jowls," these fast-paced pieces broke all the rules. For example, this first "minute murder mystery" is actually two minutes long! And that's just the start! These are rich, dense, satisfying pieces, worth playing 12 or possibly 14 times. So drink deep! And be sure to watch this space for more LLLMMM episodes...coming soon... -CV 6025@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Engaging Theatricals 2004-11-15T01:31:55-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/11/me_down.html PLAY: Me Down snippet: "Me down she did in her book." time: 44 seconds; specs: 690K mp3 written and performed by: Lee Kaye; featuring the voices of: Eileen Dahl and Shonny Vortex; plus beats by: Shoeless Adams; sliced and diced by: Cecil Vortex ********************* "Poet Makes a House Call" returns with a chunk of dense-packed, multi-layered, pocket-sized verse, featuring two MVRT debuts -- east coast poet Lee Kaye and west coast drummer Shoeless Adams. It's like there's this stream, see? And you're floating in it. About forty yards down you spot a large, metallic alien-tripod-thing by the shore -- half in the water, half out. It's doing a shimmy, splashing around. It's making a rhythmic noise. And it's headed your way fast. One word of advice: play twice. Cuz it slips right past. Enjoy. And watch the skies, -CV 5997@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Poet Makes a House Call 2004-11-08T03:14:42-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/11/john_paul_georg.html PLAY: John, Paul, George, and Ringo snippet: "It's these two guys. They wanna join the Beatles." time: 1:46; specs: 1.6 MB mp3 written by: Cecil Vortex; starring: John Kerry, George W. Bush, Benson Hurst, and Cecil Vortex ********************* What if, hypothetically speaking, the two presidential candidates, by bizarre coincidence, bore the first names of the two Beatles who've left this mortal sphere? OK, now hold that thought. What if, once again, speaking entirely hypothetically, what if the two remaining Beatles were therefore obligated to consider the aforementioned presidential candidates for induction into the world's greatest rock band? What if? What if indeed. Enjoy, and watch the skies, -CV 5929@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Politics, Politics, Politics, Shtick 2004-11-01T03:20:55-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/10/sympathy_for_th.html PLAY: Sympathy for the W. snippet: "I feel real weird lately." time: 2:20; specs: 2.2 MB mp3 written by: Bill Cassel and Christian Crumlish; starring: Christian Crumlish, M. Smith, and Eileen Dahl ********************* Make no mistake, you're in Kerry country now. Still, us Democratic loyalist types are nothing if not powerfully attuned to the suffering of others. So, as the White House slowly starts to slip from out the dry-skinned, clammy-clawed grasp of the current administration, we ask: why not set aside two minutes and twenty seconds (remarkably enough -- the approximate playing time of this very featurette!) to show a little compassion for a certain soon to be sullen conservative? That is to say, a little sympathy...for the W.? Enjoy, and watch the skies, -CV 5885@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Politics, Politics, Politics, Shtick 2004-10-25T01:26:49-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/10/you_be_the_judg.html PLAY: You Be the Judge (Oh Yeah) time: 1:47; specs: 1.6 MB mp3 written and performed by: John Kerry, George Bush, and Bob Schieffer; music and editing: Cecil Vortex ********************* In case you missed Wednesday night's third and final Presidential debate, here's a quick and dirty recap in one minute and change. Set to drum and keys, with accompanying horse clops. As the saying goes: it's got a good beat. And you can dance to it. Watch the skies, -CV 5823@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Toe-tappers 2004-10-13T23:58:54-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/10/welcome_to_the.html PLAY: Welcome to the City of Wetumpka time: 1:45; specs: 1.6 MB mp3 written and performed by: Rodney K.; music: Cecil Vortex ********************* Once in a very long while, a poem comes along that completely changes your opinion of Wetumpka. The way you think about Wetumpka. What you picture when you picture Wetumpka. This is such a poem. Wetumpka, no ordinary city. "Christmas on the Coosa. 'Rumble Days.' Replica of Stonehenge." Replica of Stonehenge? Yes. Replica of Stonehenge. Next stop: Wetumpka. Poke around. Tap your toes. Enjoy. And as ever: watch the skies, -CV 5800@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Poet Makes a House Call 2004-10-11T01:14:51-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/10/the_sequence_of.html PLAY: The Sequence of Things snippet: "...just waiting! ...on your doorstep!" time: 1:52; specs: 1.75 MB mp3 script and music: Cecil Vortex; cast: Bee Nisbet, M. Smith; featured backup vocalist: Shonny Vortex ********************* My favorite pizza is the pizza from my hometown. My favorite bagels are the bagels from my hometown. I have an old friend, he has an excellent theory: It's the water really, that's what he says. He says what I like so much about my hometown pizza and bagels is really just the taste of my hometown water. And he's probably right. Because before pizza can be pizza or bagels, bagels, there has to be water. Sequence is key. That's something Wally never really understood. At least, not until today. But you're just in time, because he's about to get his Ph.D in The Sequence of Things. Enjoy, and watch the skies -CV 5722@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Toe-tappers 2004-10-04T01:22:24-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/09/hells_a_poppins.html PLAY: Hell's a Poppins snippet: "You can take care of it. You're braver than --" time: 2:48; specs: (a bargain at just) 2.6 MB mp3 script: Eileen Dahl; cast: Bill Cassel, Heather Gottschalk ********************* A bad seed dropped by that day. Blown in by the East Wind. And faster than you could say "spit spot to bed," the damage was done. It takes charge of your brain. Do you hear? Do you hear that sound? It sounds like Hell's a Poppins. Also. Seriously: Watch the skies, -CV 5638@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Creep-edy™ 2004-09-20T06:59:26-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/08/not_cool.html PLAY: Not Cool snippet: "Hey Look! Over there! It's those two chipmunks -- from the cartoons!" time: 1:58; specs: (just barely!) 1.8 MB mp3 script and music: Cecil Vortex; cast: Christian Crumlish, Eileen Dahl, Bee Nisbet, M. Smith ********************* Tom and Kate have the whole day off. "Let's go to the amusement park!" says Kate. "Great idea!" says Tom. They just love roller coasters. Uh oh! Somebody forgot to bring an extra pair of clothes. That wasn't very smart. Come join our heroes on the fairground of life as they learn that some times, a day at the park, isn't really a day at the park. Metaphorically speaking. (Please note: Not Cool is rated "Yikes." You must be this tall to take this ride.) Enjoy! -CV 5536@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Creep-edy™ 2004-08-27T08:05:20-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/08/the_lotus_eater.html PLAY: The Lotus Eaters time: 1:40; specs: 1.5 MB mp3 written and performed by: Dan Mummert; music: Cecil Vortex ********************* Excuse me -- is that the bell? Why, I think it is! Someone's at the door, making a "house call." Could it be? Yes! Huzzah! A poet! And not just any poet -- it's Dan Mummert, dropping by (back-up band in tow, no less) to take you deep into a lettuce-free salad, surrounded by Greeks in languid recline. "Relax it meant. Here, sit." And enjoy. -CV 5424@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Poet Makes a House Call 2004-08-04T09:41:53-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/07/the_winsor_mcca_2.html PLAY: Money snippet: "Hello cutesy-wutesy." time: 2:22; specs: 2.2 MB mp3 script, music, and production: Tony Jonick; cast: Bill Cassel, Alana Guy Dill ********************* In today's MVRT episode, Money, amble over to a room laced with faint echoes of a tonier time, back when Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant played badminton in the foyer -- a room where empires are made and where hearts are broken, all in the name...of money. Enjoy! -CV (Money is our third offering from The Winsor McCay Sketchbook. From more TWMS mayhem, be sure to check out Love and Marriage.) 5372@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Engaging Theatricals 2004-07-28T10:02:39-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/07/four_poems_in_t.html PLAY: Four Poems in the Japanese Mode time: 1:01; specs: (just shy of!) 1 MB mp3 written and performed by: Tony Jonick ********************* Because you demanded it, Poet Makes a House Call is back! At your house! With poetry! Today's selection: Four Poems in the Japanese Mode, a quartet of quiet moments, offered up by East Bay poet and international raconteur, Tony Jonick. Enjoy, -CV. 5279@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Poet Makes a House Call 2004-07-14T14:01:38-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/07/john_paul_and_b.html PLAY: John, Paul, and Brando snippet: "Paul, I've asked you not to call me 'Brandy.'" time: 1:50; specs: 1.7 MB mp3 cast: Bill Cassel, Christian Crumlish, M. Smith, Cecil Vortex ********************* In April 1976, SNL Producer Lorne Michaels asked the Beatles to reuinite on live TV. Ever since that night, rumors have circulated that John and Paul were watching the show together and seriously considered taking Michaels up on his outrageous offer. Now, with Marlon Brando's recent passing, a remarkable, albeit badly battered cassette tape has surfaced, proving once and for all that these rumors were nothing less than fact. For not only were John and Paul together that night, but Brando was there with them, playing a crucial role in their historic non-decision, all while recording every last word. Absurd? Absolutely. But true nonetheless. And the proof is in the listening! PLAY: John, Paul, and Brando Odder still is a recording found on the tape's flip side. The cassette label, apparently written by Brando himself, is almost entirely unintelligible. Quite frankly, our MVRT scientists are stumped. They can't explain it. They can barely understand it. But best they can determine, it appears to be a Shroud-of-Turin-esque empathic magnetic pulse projected by Brando's massive dome onto the tape, reflecting the sounds in that room as he actually experienced them. Neat, hunh? Brando notes that he'd snacked on a suspect slab of cheese on the ride over to John's. Might there be a connection between this cheese and the disturbed state of Brando's mind that fateful night? You be the judge. Enjoy, -CV. PLAY: John, Paul, and Brando, "Tangy Brie" Remix 5234@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Engaging Theatricals 2004-07-05T09:29:03-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/06/clowney.html PLAY: Clowney snippet: "I like my men clowney. I like clowns." time: 1:03; specs: (only!) 1 MB mp3 script and music: Cecil Vortex; cast: EB ********************* There she is. Sitting at the far end of the bar, watching folks as they stumble around: juke box to pool table to bartender to juke box. She's thirsty -- anyone can see that. And you're flush. So go on -- buy her a drink. Who knows? -- she might just tell you a story. A story we like to call: Clowney. Watch the skies, -CV. 5183@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Vignettes 2004-06-18T06:19:51-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/06/the_winsor_mcca_1.html PLAY: Marriage snippet: "Shall I salute you? Shall I salute the soldier?" time: 2:29; specs: 2.2 MB mp3 script, music, and production: Tony Jonick; cast: Alana Guy Dill, Tom Salazar ********************* Today's episode, Marriage, is part of a family of pieces known collectively as "The Winsor McCay Sketchbook." Journey with us, won't you? ...to the icy border between East and West, where an unnamed man and woman stand on either side of the line discussing guns, knives, chemicals, blow darts, and trained killer thrushes. Enjoy! -CV 5116@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Engaging Theatricals 2004-06-14T01:32:17-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/06/everybody_loves.html PLAY: Everybody Loves Money snippet: "Would the word 'nightmarish' apply?" time: 4:35; specs: 4.3 MB mp3 script and production: Bill Cassel; cast: Christian Crumlish, Jeff Green, Bee Nisbet, Jolene Phelps, Eric Stone ********************* "For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows." So wrote Paul the Apostle, in his First Epistle to Timothy. And I think it's fair to say, that's his opinion and he has every right to it. Bill Cassel takes the other side of this lively point-counterpoint in today's heartwarming segment: Everybody Loves Money. note: For the bandwidth challenged, we're also offering this piece in three bite-sized (1.5 mb) morsels: Part A, Part 2, and Part the Third. Watch the skies, -CV. 5084@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Engaging Theatricals 2004-06-08T20:24:10-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/05/stack_of_mitts.html PLAY: Stack of Mitts snippet: "Gettin' my old glove fixed." time: 2:17; specs: 2.1 MB mp3 script: Cecil Vortex; cast: Lisa Bush, Rodney K., M. Smith ********************* Two friends ambling down a leafy path. A casual chat about baseball mitts. Could anything be more innocent? Yes. A lot of things could. But fortunately, none of these things lie at the heart of this particular amble, this particular chat, or this particular episode of Monkey Vortex Radio Theater. We give you: Stack of Mitts. 5015@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Engaging Theatricals 2004-05-31T21:30:45-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/05/the_winsor_mcca.html PLAY: Love snippet: "Oh I'm sorry dear. With all the heat, the glasses have melted." time: 1:31; specs: 1.4 MB mp3 script, music, and production: Tony Jonick; cast: Bill Cassel, Eileen Dahl ********************* Today's segment, Love, is part of a family of short, two-character, brain-stretching pieces known collectively as "The Winsor McCay Sketchbook." Here, the action opens in a house where there is simply no escaping the heat. Look for the explosive follow up -- Marriage -- coming soon to an MVRT near you. 4983@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Engaging Theatricals 2004-05-28T07:22:22-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/05/abu_ghraib_the.html PLAY: Abu Ghraib: The Untold Story snippet: "There. This feels so liberating." time: 3:04; specs: 2.8 MB mp3 ********************* Scoop! Who can turn the world on with her smile? Brace yourself, loyal listener, for the shocking answer lies just ahead. At great personal risk, MVRT has recently obtained the tape the Liberal Media doesn't want you to hear -- the tape that proves once and for all that conditions inside the notorious Abu Ghraib "prison" weren't exactly the "nightmare" Cronkite and his cronies would have you "believe." And we have the proof! Herewith, the shocking story behind the photos -- a tale told by goof-offs, steeped in hi-jinks, packed with end-to-end madcap mayhem, and all recorded in front of a live studio audience. Warning: Not really all that surprisingly, this segment is rated “Yikes.” And I think I speak for everyone when I say how very disappointed we are to find you still here, still reading this opening text, pondering whether or not to go ahead and play the file. Shame on you. Shame! (Note: This Creep-edy&#8482 feature is rated "Yikes.") 4959@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Creep-edy™ 2004-05-26T03:11:14-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/05/the_birth_of_ch.html PLAY: The Birth of Cheese snippet: "Eat it. You might like it." time: 2:20; specs: 2.2 MB mp3 script: Jolene Phelps; cast: Bill Cassel, Eric Stone; music: Cecil Vortex ********************* Two people. A mysterious substance. Tension so thick you could cut it with a piece of cheddar -- a really sharp piece of cheddar. It all adds up to a hearty stew of fear, loathing, and dairy products called The Birth of Cheese, written by kabbalist glass-bender and underground phenomenon Jolene Phelps. Watch the skies, -CV. 4936@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Creep-edy™ 2004-05-24T06:24:35-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/05/the_world_is_lo.html PLAY: The World Is Loud snippet: "Ask for Wally at Sleep Train." time: 1:09; specs: 1.11 MB mp3 written and performed by: Rodney K. ********************* Another entry, another category launch. This time out it's "Poet Makes a House Call" -- living poetry, read aloud by living poets, then broken into a million billion digital pieces and transmitted into your brain. Using electricity. PMaHC is delighted to debut with The World Is Loud, by Rodney K. If the sleepy town of Monkey Vortex had a gun-toting sheriff-with-no-name, except he actually did have a name, but not a complete name, just a first name and an initial where a last name might otherwise be. And he wasn't all that partial to firearms or even crime-stopping, but -- and here's the key point -- if he was one hell of a rockin' poet with the ability to rewire the cosmos using words. Well: that fella would be Rodney K. Enjoy! And watch the skies, -CV 4897@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Poet Makes a House Call 2004-05-19T00:21:02-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/05/billy_wildebees.html PLAY: Billy Wildebeest in the Land of the Gigantic Duck People, Episode One snippet: "Billy, the tribe is concerned about the way you've been...the way you've been acting lately." time: 2:10; specs: 2 MB mp3 PLAY: Billy Wildebeest in the Land of the Gigantic Duck People, Episode Two snippet: "Ducklings come from eggs, you know that." time: 2:07; specs: 2 MB mp3 script/music episode one: Cecil Vortex; music episode two: Benson Hurst; cast: Bill Cassel, Benson Hurst, Tony Jonick, R. Stewart ********************* In this, the second ever official installment of Monkey Vortex Radio Theater, we take a thought-provoking journey to a heavily forested planet somewhere near the Outer Spokes of Coddington's Nebula. Here we meet a young human named Billy, and Quala, an 8-foot tall duck warrior with a heart as big as all outdoors. Vortex on, -CV 4854@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Engaging Theatricals 2004-05-13T08:49:02-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/05/the_new_sun.html PLAY: The New Sun snippet: "Excuse me, ladies. Have you checked out the New Sun?" time: 3:39; specs: 3.4 mb mp3 And as a special bonus for all you early adopters: PLAY: Return to the Island of the New Sun snippet: "There’s no point in running." time: 1:03; specs: 992K mp3 script/music: Cecil Vortex; cast: Bill Cassel, Eileen Dahl, EB, Kevin Hamric, Tony Jonick, K. Smith ********************* Welcome to the first ever official installment of Monkey Vortex Radio Theater, originally recorded way back in April of 2004. Those were heady times. Heady. We launch with The New Sun, an example of an all-new, highly experimental genre we've been developing in an otherwise altogether unimpressive sector of our state-of-the-art, fusion-powered MVRT facilities. We call this genre: "Creep-edy™." One part comedy. One part just plain creepy. Enjoy! -CV 4853@http://monkeyvortex.com/ Creep-edy™ 2004-05-12T23:37:36-08:00 http://monkeyvortex.com/radio/2004/05/exhortation.html Thus it begins. Our great and glorious adventure. Right-clickest thou on yon link below. Savest thee thy file to thine drive. Play on. Play on! And in so playing, be-est thou exhalted, exported, and exhorted. "We few, we proud, we....Monkey Vortex." PLAY time: 24 seconds; specs: 390K mp3 4812@http://monkeyvortex.com/ TCB 2004-05-06T19:05:40-08:00