October 2004 Archives

PLAY: Sympathy for the W.
snippet: "I feel real weird lately."
time: 2:20; specs: 2.2 MB mp3

written by: Bill Cassel and Christian Crumlish; starring: Christian Crumlish, M. Smith, and Eileen Dahl

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Make no mistake, you're in Kerry country now. Still, us Democratic loyalist types are nothing if not powerfully attuned to the suffering of others. So, as the White House slowly starts to slip from out the dry-skinned, clammy-clawed grasp of the current administration, we ask: why not set aside two minutes and twenty seconds (remarkably enough -- the approximate playing time of this very featurette!) to show a little compassion for a certain soon to be sullen conservative? That is to say, a little sympathy...for the W.? Enjoy, and watch the skies, -CV

PLAY: You Be the Judge (Oh Yeah)
time: 1:47; specs: 1.6 MB mp3

written and performed by: John Kerry, George Bush, and Bob Schieffer; music and editing: Cecil Vortex

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In case you missed Wednesday night's third and final Presidential debate, here's a quick and dirty recap in one minute and change. Set to drum and keys, with accompanying horse clops. As the saying goes: it's got a good beat. And you can dance to it. Watch the skies, -CV

PLAY: Welcome to the City of Wetumpka
time: 1:45; specs: 1.6 MB mp3

written and performed by: Rodney K.; music: Cecil Vortex

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Once in a very long while, a poem comes along that completely changes your opinion of Wetumpka. The way you think about Wetumpka. What you picture when you picture Wetumpka. This is such a poem.

Wetumpka, no ordinary city. "Christmas on the Coosa. 'Rumble Days.' Replica of Stonehenge." Replica of Stonehenge? Yes. Replica of Stonehenge.

Next stop: Wetumpka. Poke around. Tap your toes. Enjoy. And as ever: watch the skies, -CV

PLAY: The Sequence of Things
snippet: "...just waiting! ...on your doorstep!"
time: 1:52; specs: 1.75 MB mp3

script and music: Cecil Vortex; cast: Bee Nisbet, M. Smith; featured backup vocalist: Shonny Vortex

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My favorite pizza is the pizza from my hometown. My favorite bagels are the bagels from my hometown. I have an old friend, he has an excellent theory: It's the water really, that's what he says. He says what I like so much about my hometown pizza and bagels is really just the taste of my hometown water. And he's probably right. Because before pizza can be pizza or bagels, bagels, there has to be water. Sequence is key.

That's something Wally never really understood. At least, not until today. But you're just in time, because he's about to get his Ph.D in The Sequence of Things. Enjoy, and watch the skies -CV